9/11! 9/11!

So it's pay day and as tradition dictates we need to spend at least a quarter of our salary. So we head to VIPS not V.I.P.S. now, 'vips'. We have some expensive steak and an all you can eat buffet and wash it down with few frosty ales. Normal enough as you can see;

 

Phase two: Get back to a local bar and have ourselves a Guinness which the Korean bar serves with chocolate, chocolate in the broadest sense of the word...tasted like ass truffles.

Phase three: Drink more

Phase four: Swing by the baseball batting range/amusement place. 

Phase four took a while because the amusements section was open for the first time ever and they have a shooting range so we obviously had to take time to give that a whack. Total success needless to say, we won 3 dartboards besides the mathmatic handicap of the attendee keeping score.

 

After the shooting range we hit the batting range. Dan was intentionally hitting foul balls so they would drop by his feet and he managed to get one to take home. Everyone was feeling in fighting form and on the way out we noticed a punching machine called the "Girl Punch".  No sir, we weren't going to pass up this challenge. Dan lucks out first with a flukey 801, Andy takes the torch and hits a feeble 762. "Fuck this!" he says, "I'm gonna kick it." The machine rises in defiance as though it knows what's coming. There's a child's horse ride right beside us that whinnies in excitement. There's an unimaginable tension in the air. This horse may have been a little too excited...

 

Wooden Andy doesn't fail to disappoint, his leg cocks back in a maneuver that can only be described as stiff and completely unorthadox. (Unorthodox - contrary to what is usual, traditional or accepted.)

He hoofs his foot forward: SMASH!!!.......650

Andy goes down at the same time the punching mitt goes down. Something's gone horribly wrong or terribly funny, it's hard to tell at this point. Stephen and Dan can't stop laughing as Andy hobbles the agonizing 500 meters home. Andy's rambling nonsense, the only coherent words coming from him is, "I think I've broken my toe.....I need whiskey". Dan goes on home laughing, Andy is still flailing around waving money about demanding whiskey. Stephen obliges. Gets back to Andy's apartment and finds this:

"I've dislocated my toe Stephen, it's all tight and I can't move it." Stephen comments, "It's completely sideways!"

They're both pretty ugly and deformed toes but it's the big one on the left that's banjaxed.

Stephen's sister happens to be a nurse so he sends her a picture and asks what should be done.

Whilst waiting for the reply, Stephen and Andy both look up videos on youtube on how to relocate a toe. Stephen's sister gets back saying he should go to a hospital and get pain relief as it's too dangerous to do yourself. Whilst reading this message Stephen hears a disgusting popping/crunching sound accompanied by harrowing yelp. "Fuck yes!!! I did it!!!" Andy the mavarick had taken it upon himself to yank his own toe back into place. "I can move it again Stephen, I can move it!" This was followed by three consecutive high fives and countless, "Fuck yeahs". 

Stephen promptly calls Dan and tells him the story much to Dan's amusement. Stephen begins to make his exit when Andrew says in the most pitiful voice, "Would you like to drink this whiskey with me?" Stephen doesn't turn down the whiskey, Andrew sits by the bed nursing his toe.

"This would make a good post for 'The Sushi Situation'!" .... BOOM!!!